Celebrity Lobsters, Part 3
If we told you abou
t a smash-hit television series that featured a toned, and tanned, lifeguard as the supervisor of beach-goers on a glamorous stretch of sand, you’d certainly be inclined to think that we were alluding to The Hoff. But what if we told you that said lifeguard was actually a lobster? Well, you might just think us crazy, or you might think that this mystery lobster should have been ranked higher in our list of Lobsters You May Have Heard of.
But the reality is that The Hoff’s Mitch Buchanon, on Baywatch, wasn’t the only lifeguard captain to man the tower on a hugely popular American television show. In fact, to some it might appear that The Hoff passed the lifeguard captain torch, or at least maybe one of those flotation thingamajiggers, to none other than Larry T. Lobster.
That’s right, because even on a television show set entirely underwater, and featuring a rich cast of sea creatures (and at least one squirrel with a breathing apparatus), lifeguards are important, and buff, and a little intimidating, and overly competitive, and really, really red. It’s true on Baywatch and it’s true on Spongebob Squarepants.
And on Spongebob Squarepants, at the beach known as Goo Lagoon, The Hoff of Bikini Bottom is a lobster by the name of Larry, a micro-managing lifeguard who sports a blue Speedo and once kicked his own parents off the beach for being “old and unsightly.” Larry T. Lobster not only protects the safety of beach-goers at Goo Lagoon, he also reigns as the strongest resident of Bikini Bottom (a fact likely disputed by the aforementioned squirrel) while pumping iron at Mussel Beach.
And while it might seem that Larry T. Lobster should be the most influential lobster in the history of television, the sad truth is that he plays a very minor role on Spongebob Squarepants; in fact, that minor role means he’s not even the most influential lobster named Larry in television history. That distinction goes to a lobster that will be featured later in this series of Lobsters You May Have Heard Of.
But that doesn’t mean that we should easily discount Larry T. Lobster’s contributions to Spongebob Squarepants. Now, let’s see…without Larry T. Lobster, Patrick Star would have run unopposed in the Bikini Bottom presidential race (fine, truth be told, Larry garnered zero votes, but a democratic system is about choice, so Larry contributed to the betterment of life in Bikini Bottom). And without Larry T. Lobster, we would have no idea that a lobster could play volleyball, or lift weights, or lifeguard, or have stinky armpits.
And, of course, without Larry T. Lobster we would have no concept whatsoever that lobsters might take tanning pills (it is said that Larry T. Lobster’s bright red color comes not from having been turned into lobster meat but instead from having overdosed on tanning pills). Indeed, because of Larry T. Lobster, other lobsters now know that an excessive amount of tanning pills not only make you look cooked, but also are bad for your heart.
So let’s celebrate Larry T. Lobster, the prime only current example of lobster fame notoriety in animation. And join us next week as we highlight a slightly more influential lobster…one you may have even heard of.
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